Liverpool star John Arne Riise's first language may be Norwegian and his second language may be English and his third language may be Football but his fourth language is most definitely Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve. The pint-sized Premier League pixie knows that the way to a woman's heart is not through sending chocolate or flowers or pictures of yourself re-enacting popular children's movies using dead animal parts (guess which one my favourite is?) but instead via the medium of poorly-constructed text messages! And instead of sending it to just one woman, why not increase your odds by sending the same message to ten of them? And what type of people are better than regular people?! Why celebrities of course!
With all this in mind the pint-sized Premier League pixie (wait... I already used that one, didn't I?) sent the following message to ten famous Norwegian women, in the hopes of landing a date:
"Good evening... After a lot of calling to all kinds of contacts, I finally got your number. I have always thought you are very charming, cute, sexy, fantastic aura, and last but not least, you seem exciting and challenging;) hope we can get in touch, and I will of course invite you on a romantic dinner for two;) kiss from John Arne Riise xxx"
Sadly the plan blew up in his face when a tabloid got wind of his plan and exposed the whole affair.
Bttr luk nxt tyme m8!!! :-D xxx kiss from winston xxxx
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