A couple of videos of footballers singing badly.

Footballers and music just don't mix. There have been innumerable infamous incidents involving ill-advised attempts at irenic integration including Gazza's truly appalling rendition of the already painful "Fog On The Tyne" (which somehow reached no.2 in the British charts in late 1990) and Chris Waddle's double assault on the ears of the world which included "We've Got A Feeling" (featuring his Olympique Marseille team-mate Basil Boli) and of course the now-legendary "Diamond Lights" featuring Glen Hoddle.

However several other crimes against music have passed under the radar almost completely unnoticed. Today we ausculate almost-anonymous audio atrocities arranged adjacently for your listening displeasure.

First up we have The Players, a Norwegian boyband featuring Blackburn Rover's Morten Gamst Pedersen, Vålerenga's Freddy Dos Santos & Kristofer "Doffen" Hæstad, Fredrikstad's Raymond Kvisvik and Randaberg's Øyvind Svenning who released "This Is For Real" in 2006. Proceeds from the single went to the "Soccer Against Crime" charity set up by the Red Cross.



Whilst that single helped raise money for a good cause, there is no such defence for the next melodic miscreant: England international and former(deep breath now) Arsenal, Fulham, Bristol City, Newcastle United, Manchester United, Blackburn Rovers, Manchester City, Portsmouth, Birmingham, Sunderland and Burnley (phew!) striker Andrew "Andy Cole" Cole who of course now plys his trade with Nottingham Forest. In 1999 he released the musical abomination "Outstanding" which did in part live up to its name as it was Outstanding....ly bad.


Nice.

Apparently Watford's American defender Jay Demerit also released a single entitled "Soccer Rocks" however I was unable to track down a copy.

It's probably for the best though, I don't think my ears could take much more.

India withdrew from the 1950 World Cup because their players refused to wear football boots.

It's always puzzled me that a country the size of India has never made an appearance in the World Cup. Ok so football isn't the most popular sport over there but with a population of over 1.1 billion people (don't even think about trying to count 'em) you'd think they could muster up a decent XI.

The closest the Bhangra Boys have come to making it to the big show was in 1950 when they qualified for the tournament in Brazil without playing a single game after all their prospective regional rivals withdrew. Regardless of the ease of their passage many felt they were deserving of a place after a brief but impressive performance in the 1948 Olympics:

"The Indian team embarked upon its first overseas tour in 1948. The occasion was the 1948 London Olympics. The Indian team thrilled all spectators in their only game against France. Led by legendary captain Sailendra Nath Manna, the team lost a heart breaker to France 1-2, with the winner coming as late as the 89th minute."

Sadly they were never to make it to IV Campeonato Mundial de Futebol as the Indian players, who for the most part liked to play barefoot, balked when FIFA informed them that the wearing of football boots was non-negotiable. India decided this requirement was one they could not comply with and promptly withdrew from the competition.

They weren't the only team to decline to appear that year, Turkey and Scotland also chose not to make the trip. The latter did so rather gallantly as, after finishing second in that seasons British Home Nations, the Scots withdrew as they felt they were underserving of a place.

For India, who have never come close to appearing in a another World Cup, their successful qualification (and subsequent disqualification) demonstrated that their football team had plenty of heart but not enough sole.


I bet they thought they were a real shoe-in too!


Sorry... I'm a real heel... And my jokes should be given the boot.


I better stop now before I really put my foot in my mouth.

Bora Milutinović's World of World Cups.

Velibor "Bora" Milutinović is an international football management legend, with two CONCACAF Gold Cups in his trophy cabinet. However his greatest acheivement, one which has comes with no medal, is taking charge of five different countries in five consecutive World Cups: Mexico in 1986, Costa Rica in 1990, USA in 1994, Nigeria in 1998 and China in 2002. With the exception of the Chinese he advanced past the group stage on every occasion.

Sadly the tournament in Japan & Korea was his last World Cup appearance, at least for now. He did go on to take the helm of two more nations; Honduras from 2003-2004 and Jamaica from 2006-2007. Since being fired from The Reggae Boyz the Serbian Soccer Saviour has stayed out of the management spotlight. Fingers crossed he reappears in time for South Africa 2010.

Despite his acehievements in the world's most watched sporting event his greatest triumph, according to the man himself, was beating Scotland.

Some people are easily pleased, aren't they?

Goran Ivanisevic is a famous tennis player but he really likes football and once even played for Hajduk Split.

Goran Ivanisevic is probably most famous for being the only person to win the men's single title at Wimbledon as a wild card. A less well known fact is that he's a die hard fan of both West Brom and his hometown club, Hajduk Split, even managing to briefly turn out for them in 2001. Taking things a step further he played (and scored) for the Croation national team in a friendly against an International XI in 2002. With a record of one cap/one goal he can be spoken of in the same breath with such luminaries as Francis Jeffers & David Nugent.

And, if you ask me, being compared to those two footballing greats is the highest honour any sportsman can achieve!