Footballers and music just don't mix. There have been innumerable infamous incidents involving ill-advised attempts at irenic integration including Gazza's truly appalling rendition of the already painful "Fog On The Tyne" (which somehow reached no.2 in the British charts in late 1990) and Chris Waddle's double assault on the ears of the world which included "We've Got A Feeling" (featuring his Olympique Marseille team-mate Basil Boli) and of course the now-legendary "Diamond Lights" featuring Glen Hoddle.
However several other crimes against music have passed under the radar almost completely unnoticed. Today we ausculate almost-anonymous audio atrocities arranged adjacently for your listening displeasure.
First up we have The Players, a Norwegian boyband featuring Blackburn Rover's Morten Gamst Pedersen, Vålerenga's Freddy Dos Santos & Kristofer "Doffen" Hæstad, Fredrikstad's Raymond Kvisvik and Randaberg's Øyvind Svenning who released "This Is For Real" in 2006. Proceeds from the single went to the "Soccer Against Crime" charity set up by the Red Cross.
Whilst that single helped raise money for a good cause, there is no such defence for the next melodic miscreant: England international and former(deep breath now) Arsenal, Fulham, Bristol City, Newcastle United, Manchester United, Blackburn Rovers, Manchester City, Portsmouth, Birmingham, Sunderland and Burnley (phew!) striker Andrew "Andy Cole" Cole who of course now plys his trade with Nottingham Forest. In 1999 he released the musical abomination "Outstanding" which did in part live up to its name as it was Outstanding....ly bad.
Nice.
Apparently Watford's American defender Jay Demerit also released a single entitled "Soccer Rocks" however I was unable to track down a copy.
It's probably for the best though, I don't think my ears could take much more.
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