Monday 23 June 2008

Harry Redknapp's Transfer Hall of Shame.

Harry Redknapp stands with one hand on his head.
When Portsmouth won this seasons FA Cup the general reaction was one of delight on two fronts; firstly that a team outside the so-called "big four" had won the competition (the first time this had happened since Everton's 1995 triumph) and secondly that manager Harry Redknapp had finally added a top-level honour to his name.

The gregarious gaffer (alliteration count: 1) has always enjoyed well-loved status in his home nation both for his abilities at nurturing young talent (including such luminaries as Frank Lampard, Rio Ferdinand, Michael Carrick, Jermain Defoe, Joe Cole, Theo Walcott and Glen Johnson. And of course Jamie Redknapp too.) and for his colourful off-the-cuff manner.

However despite the Eastender's evident eruditeness (alliteration count: 2), his forays into the transfer market have often proved anything less than wise.




Paolo Futre

Paol Futre
Hoping to add some flair to his side, Redknapp recruited Portuguese international Paolo Futre in 1996. However instead of pace & ability the man from Mojito (alliteration count: 3. Hat-trick!!!!!!) provided petulance & arrogance, refusing to take the field for his debut against Arsenal as he was unsatisfied with his shirt number. The following is paraphrased from "Harry Redknapp, My Autobiography."

'"No way [number] 16," Futre said. "Number 10. Eusebio number 10. Futre number 10." So determined was he to wear his number of choice that he offered to pay £100,000 for the privilege. The impasse was resolved when the man in possession of the West Ham number 10 shirt, John Moncur, agreed to give it up in exchange for a fortnight's holiday in Futre's luxury villa in Portugal.'


Amazingly this display did not endear him to his new manager or team mates and, after making only eight further appearances, Paolo the Porugeezer was shipped off to Athletico Madrid.




Florin Raducioiu

Florin Raducioiu wearing a suit and looking disturbingly lecherous.
Around the same time old Harry made what was thought to be a very shrewd signing when he brought Espanyol's Romanian hitman Florin Raducioiu to London for around two and a half million pounds. However it soon became clear that the Bucharestian (Bucharestite?) was more interested in enjoying the sights and sounds of the English capital than the football, as proved when he decided to miss a League Cup game to go shopping with his girlfriend.

Unsurprisingly the player soon found himself in the shop window, moving right back to Espanyol at the end of the season, having contributed two goals in eleven appearances.




Joey Beauchamp

Joey Beauchamp watches the ball bounce.
Redknapp was involved in another infamous transfer for the Hammers before he even took charge. As assistant manager to Billy Bonds, Harry had a hand in the purchase of Oxford's promising youngster Joey Beauchamp for one million bokes. Young JB lasted an astonishing one day before requesting a transfer, citing home-sickness. He left less than two months later with only a single pre-season appearance to his name.




Marco Boogers

Marco Boogers staring at the camera.
Harry's most infamous signing involved inconceivably-named Dutch striker Marco Boogers. Boogers West Ham career was over almost as soon as it had begun when he was sent off in only his second game after committing a 'sickening horror tackle' on Manchester United fullback Gary Neville and then fleeing to live in hiding in a Dutch Caravan park whilst protesting "I'm not mental!" All perfectly sane stuff.

Redknapp himself called Boogers his worst ever signing.

And with that we draw a close on our look through Harry's Transfer Hall of Shame, at least for now. The moral of this story is... well, I'm not sure really. I'm pretty tired from writing this all out to be honest. So I guess the moral is: Always get enough rest. Perfect!

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